What is the first meeting with a therapist like and what to expect from it?

For whom is psychotherapy indicated?

The answer is simple: psychotherapy can be a great solution for anyone experiencing any discomfort in life. Pop culture and media can create  the impression that it is only for a person with a serious – whatever that means – problem. You don’t have to struggle with trauma or depression at all to benefit from it. In fact, therapy is for you if you feel you need it, if you need to put your personal affairs in order, learn more about yourself, “expand” your self-awareness, look at your emotions, learn to manage them better, just be “closer to yourself.”

It is not for you if you do not go for it voluntarily, but under pressure from the outside, such as a partner person or family. If we do not feel that we are willing and ready to meet with a specialist, it is unlikely to be helpful. It can even harm and discourage us for a long time.

Therapeutic currents

If you associate therapy with lying on a chaise longue and an elderly gentleman with a beard and an unkind look sitting in a big chair, you may be referring to psychoanalysis and Freud. To be honest, it’s a pretty stereotypical picture. Psychoanalysis is indeed a form of work with the patient and deals with the psyche, 
However, it is not a form of psychotherapy
. There is psychodynamic therapy, which is based on its assumptions.

There are many strands of therapy, so there’s a good chance that one will fit your needs, for example:

• Cognitive-behavioral therapy
• Psychodynamic (psychoanalytic) therapy
• Client-centered therapy (rogers)
• Gestalt Therapy
• Integrative (holistic) therapy

Forms of meetings with a specialist

They can be held individually or in groups, as a couple or as a whole family. But these days we can also choose to have a therapy session in the office, over the phone or online – in the form of a video call, phone call or chat. Not sure what to choose? Both therapies – online and traditional – are equally effective, so, above all, be guided by your needs, comfort and safety. They are the priority here.

How to prepare for your first session with a specialist

• What can you expect?

It’s time for the first meeting. It’s totally ok if you’re nervous – not only are you in a completely new situation, but you’re also facing talking about your emotions, thoughts, experiences, perhaps the past, . It’s hard to call such a significant step out of your comfort zone easy and enjoyable, but remember: you’re doing it for yourself, to be a healthier, fuller and more honest to yourself and conscious person. The discomfort and work ahead of you, the time you choose to spend on “yourself,” the effort to touch on important and painful issues, confronting the truth about yourself are worth it.

To reduce nerves, you can write down things you want to say to yourself – don’t be afraid to read from a journal or an app on your phone during the meeting.

Think of the first visit as an opportunity to get to know each other. During it, the specialist may interview you to better understand what you are coming with and how to help you. But it’s also an opportunity for you to ask questions and see if you’re comfortable with the person. Don’t worry if you’re not sure after the first session – sometimes it takes several meetings to decide if you’re a good match.

You may not feel that fit with the first person you find, and – although it may frustrate you – it’s perfectly natural. Your comfort and sense of security are paramount here! Therefore, you are free to choose another person for the job. Also remember that you don’t have to say or do anything you don’t want to.

• Costs

There’s no denying it – psychological support can be expensive. It is possible to use the services of a psychologist or psychotherapist in a public institution, but then you have to wait months for an appointment, and we usually have no say in matching the therapist or the stream of therapy. That’s why we usually get therapy privately. It is worth remembering that form  online is usually cheaper than stationary, among other things due to the absence of the cost of renting an office.

• Emotions

Being close to yourself, being aware of your own emotions, feelings, ways of reacting and being able to manage yourself effectively can be a challenge at first. Such a rediscovery of yourself and your emotions is quite an effort, so take your time and give yourself space to recover and calm down. Also remember that not every session will end with a feeling of relief. You may feel worse after some meetings, and this is perfectly normal. It is often the case that during the therapy process we take two steps forward and three steps back which is a natural process and should in no way discourage us. This may be the case and it is worth looking into together with your therapist. 

However, if you have been leaving a session frustrated*, bitter* or accompanied by other difficult emotions for a long time, it is worth talking to your therapist about it. Perhaps you are not focusing on what you think is most important at the moment, maybe you feel that this person is no longer helpful to you. The reasons vary, but clear and direct communication is very important here. Don’t be afraid to say that you have doubts, disagree with the therapist or think about changing him. Authenticity, truth in the relationship, mutual openness and honesty with each other is the foundation of any therapeutic relationship, and it is crucial in the healing process. Without a strong, good, stable relationship, without that sense of “flow” with the therapist, there is no chance for success in therapeutic work. 

• Own work

Meeting with a specialist or therapy will not give you ready-made solutions, and the therapist will not tell you how to live your life. He can be your guide, help you look at something from a different perspective, but you are the one who has to make the decisions and do the mental and emotional work. In short, the therapist is responsible for leading the process, the tools used during the work, on your side is the responsibility for the results. As in one of the commercials of a well-known brand – “you’re in charge”.In turn, you are responsible for the results. 

The work on change and on oneself does not take place only during the meeting. The lion’s share of it you often do the rest of the time. These can be homework assignments, but they are mostly moments when you are trying to understand yourself better and change your thinking or habits. Of course, it is equally important that you give* yourself space for recovery – rest and sleep, which is fundamental to our physical and mental health.

• Patience

Arm yourself with patience: the therapeutic process can take
several weeks or several years
, depending on your situation and type of therapy. Also, don’t set your sights on a magical improvement after one meeting. In fact, you may feel immense fatigue or momentary aggravation afterwards – you*ve just pushed the limits of your comfort and may have listened to your emotions for the first time in your life. As much as possible, you have the right to feel mental exhaustion. It is necessary to give yourself a rest, try not to plan anything for the rest of the day. 

You*ve shown yourself tremendous courage and have done*something very important for yourself – celebrate this achievement somehow!Arm yourself with patience: the therapeutic process can take time several weeks or several years, depending on your situation and the type of therapy. Also, don’t set your sights on a magical improvement after one meeting. In fact, you may feel immense fatigue or momentary aggravation afterwards – you*ve just pushed the limits of your comfort zone and may have listened to your emotions for the first time in your life.  Remember that “small steps produce big results.”  You*ve shown tremendous courage and done*something very important for you – celebrate this achievement somehow!