Why assertiveness at work?

Author: Ola Piotrowicz-Przyłuska

What is assertiveness?

First, it is worth defining what this, sometimes somewhat mythical, assertiveness is. I still often encounter the rather simplistic notion that it simply means saying NO or strongly disagreeing with something.

Indeed, assertiveness sometimes requires saying no. At the same time, it is a much broader concept. According to my favorite definition, it is:

“teaching or informing those around us how we want and/or need to be treated* without intending to harm those around us.”

So assertiveness is also about expressing your needs, not just saying no. It’s important to remember that other people don’t read our minds, and it’s often difficult to guess at other people’s needs – not to mention that we ourselves sometimes have trouble determining our own. By expressing them and related requests clearly, we get a chance for better relations and cooperation.

So what does it take to behave and communicate assertively?

First: awareness, or rather – self-awareness, that is, noticing and naming one’s own values, needs and emotions. It’s also the ability to identify one’s boundaries – understanding that how we feel at any given moment is due to the fact that something has violated those boundaries, some vital need of ours has been ignored.

Second: the sense of being enough. This means, on the one hand, giving yourself the right to express your needs, and on the other hand, hearing the needs of others and not taking their requests as an attack or judgment. This, unfortunately, is often one of the most difficult aspects of being an assertive person.

Equally important is the ability to express oneself assertively, using unambiguous wording – such as the IAM message according to the NVC methodology. Nonviolent Communication – Nonviolent Agreement). Try to express your needs this way:

when/when…. (I) feel / am … I have a need … I am asking for ….

What is this attitude useful for at work?

Being assertive can be a challenge, especially at first, but this attitude has many benefits. Assertiveness allows, among other things:

• communicate more effectively
• negotiate at the level of needs
• achieve more productive dimensions of collaboration – especially in agile management methods
• save your own – and others’ – energy and “nerves”
• Build a culture of healthy, ongoing feedback
• consciously build a career path – take care of professional development
• prevent overwork, the somatic effects of excessive stress – assertiveness is an important element of the so-called “assertiveness”. RESIDENCY.

In the long term (subjectively), an assertive attitude can also help avoid professional burnout. It also often provides a kind of shield against bullying behavior, if any. Of course, it doesn’t mean that someone has the right to behave in a toxic way just because they have an assertive team.